Catchy new year title!

Happy 2024!

Hello, and welcome back to my brain! - this is to both you and me.

Right. Let's set out a structure for this blog post, and then I’ll rattle on from then like a good little essayist.

Structure:

• It’s a new year!

• What I am continuing this year

• What I am starting this year

• What I hope to achieve this year

• QS things

• FS things

• Kirstifer things

• Any other business

Sounds like a decent lineup if a bit me heavy, but I guess that’s the point of a blog, ey?

It’s a new year!

Isn’t it just. Welcome to 2024! I was going to start this with talking about politics, but it’s the start of a new year. Lets maybe try and focus on the more positive side of things! Admittedly, I don’t know much about the wider world's positive news because I have intentionally avoided the news cycle as my brain chemistry is sensitive to atrocities and their seeming commonality within the world. However, if you’re reading this, that means that both you, dear reader, and I are alive! (Or this has continued to exist as we’ve been told that everything on the internet is permanent and you’re in the future reading about the past, and for that, I can only apologise/hope that we finally got our heads out of our asses and sorted some shit out). Anywho. Happy new year (if you celebrate the Gregorian calendar!)! I hope that it brings joy, positivity and success for us all in whatever form that may take 😄

What I am continuing this year

The first thing that comes to mind is therapy. I have a wonderful therapist (Shout out to Alison) who is great at understanding me, which is a rarity as I don’t think in words (why did you start a blog then, you big dumb dumb?), but I think in shapes and colours, and she’s helped me work this out and how to access these better and understand them a bit better. Like I’ve always struggled with identifying how I felt because no one else seemed to feel things the way that I do, but she’s helped me to normalise a lot of this thought processing and letting me just be. 

Top tip from Alison: create a “wise” version of yourself - let this version of you take a step back from whatever situation you’re in and absorb the bigger picture. Once you start doing this, you’re able to take that time to process what’s happening and react in a way that is in line with what is actually happening!

Other things I’ll be continuing this year;

• Anti-depressants

• Anti-psychotics

• Antihistamines

• Trying to make a successful business

• Trying to make a beautiful community

• Hanging with my pals as much as I can

• Valuing experiences over things

• Nurturing child Kirstifer and making things safer and happier for them and adult me to exist

Tbh, I reckon that’s pretty good going for things to continue.

What I am starting this year

Honestly, the biggest thing that I am starting this year is properly trading through my business. I’m not just doing this blog (lol, imagine me having enough of an ego to be like, “Everyone will want to pay me for my words when I have no audience or whatever”), but I am starting a fix and mend business for clothes that is called FunStabs (so QueerStory and FunStabs are siblings, essentially). There’s a whole story as to why it’s called that, and it’s on the website (when I finally publish it…). The dream is to make clothes last longer, send less textile waste to landfill and hopefully teach a bunch of people mending skills in the meantime! (Also, to make money off those who don’t want to level up their sewing skills, but that’s a-ok with me. I need money to survive, like most people). I already have a bunch of stuff set up for this to happen, but I just need to pull the trigger and then see what happens I am TERRIFIED of pulling the trigger for realsies. The romantic part of my brain is like, “We’ll be inundated with so many orders and queries we’ll be snowed under with requests!” which is scary in its own right. Then there’s the other part of my brain, which is whispering sinisterly, “No one wants this… you’ll be a massive failure and never amount to anything. You’re wasting your own time and everyone elseeessssss” as it fades into the distance. Which I also know is a trash thought, and it can get into the sea because I’ve already got a bunch of work that I’ve done and lined up. So. Stop that. Bad brain being bad. 

So that’s my main priority this year. Other things that I’d like to start are:

• Rock climbing (because what self-respecting queer hasn’t at least tried this?!)

• Start saving for my own place.

• Make more moves to physically transition to neutral/remind Dr Fang that I exist and want the gel and the yeet.

• Finding ways to organise that scratch my brain in a good way. (I’m thinking I’m a vertical organiser and I’ll explain that more when I understand it more.)

• Tattooing. Imma do it. I have all the shit. I know a bunch of stuff. I’ve practised. I just need to make the leap onto me. (I will not do this on anyone else until I am happy with doing it to myself).

What I hope to achieve this year

I hope to achieve a level of independence and self-reliance I’ve yet to properly develop for myself. I’ve either been employed or in education (or both) since I was 16. Which, now I think about it, is almost literally half of my life, sweet baby saints, that’s a long time. Oh nooo I’ve unlocked the void, and now I’m drowning. Move on, Kirstie, move onnnn. The last couple of years have been BUMPY, to say the least, what with a very close brush with un-existing and somewhat actually blowing up my entire life and what have you. I’ve ended up in a very lucky place where I am able to reform myself and, hopefully, emerge as a more complete me. So, that’s the big one. 

Other things I would like to achieve this year:

• Continued nice relationships with my local beau

• More relationships with other lovely people

• Some form of separation between my work and living space

• A thriving business

• A gorgeous queer community (Queerunity? Communiqueer?... We’ll work on it)

• Peace with my physical appearance

• Find a nice exercise that works with my brain

QueerStory things

Ah, we’re finally talking about here!!! Amazing! Woo! Go Queers! Alright, calm down, calm down. You’re British/Irish Kirstie; you can’t be getting too enthusiastic, or people might alert the authorities. But yes! I have dedicated my Wednesdays to computer stuff; with that, this blog is included! So I will now be spending my Wednesdays translating the things that float around in my head into symbols that a bunch of other people can read if they so wish and then making both my websites look nice and hopefully function well (I can, but hope). I’ll also reply to things and stuff on Wednesdays, so if you do send me a message, please know I’ll get back to you as soon as possible, and likely on a Wednesday (drink each time I type the word “Wednesday”). 

I would also like to work on building this up into a community project with an intersectional range of people's thoughts, opinions and experiences that can both allow them to express themselves and allow others to develop a deeper understanding of people who are likely different from them. I am unsure of how best to go about this, and as I’ve mentioned, both QS and FS are in their infancy stages, so there’s so much room to grow! (also, I am new to all of this and will potentially be posting for help soonish, so if you feel like helping a queer out, lemme know. Please. Pretty pretty, please.)

FunStabs things

Ooooh, grown-up business stuff!! As I have mentioned a few times in this lengthy lengthy post, FunStabs is my business baby that I’m working on for most of the working week (including, Wednesdays (drink)).

I aim to fix and mend what I can myself but also run workshops - this could be that I’m hired by local businesses/I could maybe reach out to Hobbycraft or similar companies and see whether they’d be down to hang with me/other opportunities. I am currently working with a school I used to work with to run a couple of elective workshops with them, which I think would be amazing and great - teaching them younguns you can be a weird lil art freak and grow into more of that! (Kids are honestly so beigewashed at schools, and it’s upsetting, so I’ll dye my hair some stupid colours and dopamine dress like no one has ever seen before). 

I’ll also be upcycling clothes and customising things too! Anything to extend the life expectancy of the clothes that already exist. A bonus for my business is the more I do things, the more I can document it, the more people can draw from what I’ve already done, and they can ask for cool and unique things that come to them from what I am able to offer!

I’m honestly so jazzed about all the ideas I have. I just need to flippin do ‘em!

Kirstifer things

I mean, all I’ve done is talk about me and my plans. I’m not sure what else I need to write here. This whole thing feels like an indulgence that no one needs, but also… I’ve had a bit of a wonky brain recently, and the thing that came from it is that I should value myself more (so an entire website dedicated to me, as it stands, seems like a way to go about that, don’tcha think?) and that I want to help others so… Here’s to eventually developing things that can do that ☺️

Also, for those who have made it this far, as a treat, have a secret, very close to my heart dream/wish that I would love to come true - a community workspace. This can be a beautiful workspace where local small business people can come and hang out together, work near real people and bounce ideas off one another. Develop relationships and work together to create cool and unique new businesses, products, plans and ways to shape and improve the world. You can refer work to people who are better suited for different jobs that you know of and build up the community even further. It would also be a safe space for youngsters to hang out after school - or even for us to run apprenticeships/part-time jobs for thems that needs them. Oh! And imagine having lil creative bebes or lil queers working together and helping each other with their homework or coursework (which us business nerds can also help with?!) UGH. I understand this one is a long shot, but I can visualise it so damn clearly. It can’t be impossible. 

AOB

I just want to say that I saw Poor Things yesterday, and it was a goddamn delight. The sets, the architecture, the design, the wardrobe, the performances, the points that were being made, the development of Bella throughout - just everything was a goddamn masterpiece. I’ve not seen any of Yorgos Lanthimos’ other works, but I absolutely need to now. I am a sucker for A) weird shit, B) anything that provides a feast for my eyes and C) Mark Ruffalo naked (I am but a simple creature at heart). 

So, I think that’s it. That’s the post… I say as if I’ve not just written a short essay for potentially no one to read ✨ I figure this can be my version of a vision board because I am not organised enough to make one of them bad boys.

I hope your 2024 is all you wish for and more.

See you next Wednesday (drink)